I actually journaled this last night in my physical journal, and felt I should back it up here too.
Vacation was great. We scattered some of Mom’s ashes in the Breaks and that was nice. Ate good food. Went to the cemetery in Big Rock and something told me to keep walking, and when I finally stopped, I was at the grave of my mom’s older sister. I think Mom led me to her. ❤
As some of you may or may not know, I’m a big fan of the band a-ha, and I’ve been learning about them. Their lead singer, Morten Harket, is very handsome. ❤ He wanted to be a minister before getting famous, and is actually a very devout Christian. He’s Lutheran to be exact. I thought that was interesting, so I started reading about it. And tbh, it explains why Morten is so kind and loving.
I’ve been away from any sort of Christian movement since 2001 due to trauma with my family’s Baptist ways. But today, I posted on tumblr that I was having a hard time since my mom passed and an anonymous person sent me an ask that simply read “Psalm 34:18”. So I looked it up, and:
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
It made me cry. It was exactly what I needed. Also have a copy of the Lutheran Study Bible because I wanted to know about Morten’s faith — and it feels… right?
It’s funny in a way because just last month I wrote in my journal about how Christianity let me down. And now… I don’t know.
Is this what is meant by a crisis of faith? I’m a Nordic Pagan of Israeli-Jewish and Norwegian ancestry (mostly)… why is this feeling like something?